Someday the time will come when my friends and family will have to say goodbye to my body. When this does happen, I want my loved ones to know what I wish to happen to my body, organs, and how and where I want my services to take place. First of all, I do not want my funeral to be a sad place. Of course people will be crying I’m sure, however, I want my life to be remembered in a happy way. Because of this, I do not want a typical funeral service. Instead, I want a party, something that I myself would want to attend. I want my exit of the world something to remember.
At this party, there will be all of my closest friends and family. There will be fun hip music that everyone can dance to, and I will expect people to dance for the memory of my life considering I have been a dancer, and always will at heart, since I was four. At this “service” I want everyone to either wear blue or pink. This way the crowd will be in cotton candy colors. And considering everyone will look like cotton candy, it is only right to serve cotton candy to everyone. If people wish of course they can say nice things about me, but nothing too sad because I want that day to be fun for everyone. There should be a sign posted somewhere that says “No crying allowed, all violators will be kicked out!”. I also want memories written on poster boards for others to read and pictures posted up. There should also be picture slideshows shown and videos of me in the Dominican Republic on my missions trips. Considering missions is a big love in my life and very important to me, instead of flowers, I want my loved ones to set up a donation for the Second Assembly of God in the Dominican Republic, and also the Homes of Hope for trafficked children in Texas.
This memorial service will be taken place at either the beach, Slater Park, or inside a hall, depending on the weather of course and where I end up living in my later years. If it is nice out I would prefer it to be at the beach so everyone can have a barbeque and smore’s later on in the night. I want my favorite foods to be served, fruit salad, steak, mashed potatoes, and whatever anyone else wants to bring. After everyone eats around sunset, I want there to be a balloon for every year I have lived. If I am 88 years old, I want eighty eight baby blue and light pink balloons let go to the song Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole. There will be no certain time for everyone to leave, just whenever they please and feel they have partied enough for me.
Ooooo oooooo ohoohohoo
Ooooo ohooohoo oooohoo
Ooooo ohoohooo oohoooo
Oohooo oohoooho ooooho
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby ii ii iii
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I? i iiii
Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld
Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I hiii ?
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Warm summer sun shine kindly here: Warm summer wind blow softly here: Green sod above lie light, lie light: Good-night, Dear Heart: good-night, good-heart. Memorial to Clorinda Haywood.I want people to remember my life in a happy way. I don’t want anyone to be sad when I die because it will just be my time to go. Theirs will be someday too. People need to have fun at my life party and celebrate my life, not mourn for it. After my party I want some friends and family to bury my body at Swan Point Cemetary if I still choose to be buried at that point, I may want to be creamated and set free at my party. If I do choose to be creamated I want necklaces, rings or braclettes made for my children, and husband with my remains inside.
45 Fun Things to Do at a Funeral Jason Roth
- Ask whose funeral it is.
- Look at your watch a lot.
- Videotape the burial.
- Wear something pink.
- Offer tissues to mourners, for a reasonable price.
- Gasp and say you think you left your oven on.
- Honk your horn during the funeral procession.
- Set off your car alarm during the funeral procession.
- Try to get people lost during the funeral procession.
- Shout "Bullshit!" during the eulogy.
- Take bets on the next person to go.
- Tell embarrassing stories about the deceased.
- Tie a fishing line to a five dollar bill and see who's really mourning and who just wants to be five bucks richer.
- Pretend to issue a subpoena to the spouse of the deceased. Laugh and say you always wanted to do that.
- Try to convince someone who's weeping to go out with you.
- Whistle a happy tune.
- Eat popcorn.
- Applaud after the burial.
- From behind a tree at the cemetery, yell something Godly into a megaphone.
- Hum "Taps" into a kazoo.
- Smile and say, "This reminds me of the time he pretended he was dead. What a joker."
- See how much Easy Cheese graffiti you can spray onto the coffin before somebody postpones the funeral for a wipe-down. Offer to supply the Windex.
- Ask if anyone has seen the old "saw the casket in half" trick.
- Carve your initials into the casket.
- Put on a hand buzzer and slap one of the pallbearers on the ass.
- Tug on the coffin while the pallbearers are carrying it. Try to hang from it.
- Use a lot of inappropriate idioms. (E.g., "Man, am I dead tired. All that drinking last night really killed me. That tequila was deadly. Getting up this early for a funeral is murder. Hey, isn't that guy a dead ringer for Joe Pesci?")
- Ask if anyone knows a five-letter word for "decomposition".
- Tell somebody your iguana died. See if you get any sympathy.
- Put on a stethoscope, place the chest piece on the casket, shake your head and say, "I'm sorry, he didn't make it."
- Flip open the casket and run.
- Straddle the casket and wave a cowboy hat. Pretend you're Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove.
- Sneak up to the podium and give a eulogy. If you can't think of anything creative, just refer to the deceased with the wrong name.
- Make phone calls.
- Receive phone calls.
- Check e-mail.
- Hold a protest near the grave site. Claim that the cemetery uses non-union gravediggers, or yell something about sacred Indian burial ground or groundhogs being threatened with extinction.
- Hand out flyers during the burial promoting an after-party or special prices on dry cleaning. Even better, two-for-one tombstones for one week only.
- Start a sing-along.
- Fake a heart attack.
- Before the body is lowered, announce that the guy in the back told you he wanted to say something.
- Ask everyone to join you in prayer. Say something profane in Latin. See if anyone notices.
- Spit on the grave.
- Tell the deceased's mother that you're bored.
- And finally…… Introduce yourself as "the guy who killed him".
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