Obituary

Haleigh J (Paul) O'Brien 88, went home to be with the Lord on Saturday April 23rd, She was the daughter of the late Jo-Ann and Leo Paul. She is the wife of Nathaniel James O'Brien and mother to Lydia of California, San Diego and Liam O'Brien of Seekonk, Massacheusettes. she was a fun, loving an dvivacious grandmother to her four grandchildren and seven great grandchildren. haleigh reesided in Seekonk where she was born, raised, and  educated. She attended Rhode Island College where she graduated with a degree in social work.
Haleigh had many intrests in her lifetime. One was traveling around the world to third world coutries where she was able to spred the word of Jesus Christ. Haleigh was very involved in her church where she frequently brought together those who woul travel around the world with her in order to help those who had much less.
Calling hours are respectfully omitted as is donations to the Homes of Hope in Texas and Second Assembly of God in the Dominican Republic, doncations would be greatly appreciated. Burial will be private at the families request.

Haleigh's Party

Funeral Plan
Someday the time will come when my friends and family will have to say goodbye to my body. When this does happen, I want my loved ones to know what I wish to happen to my body, organs, and how and where I want my services to take place. First of all, I do not want my funeral to be a sad place. Of course people will be crying I’m sure, however, I want my life to be remembered in a happy way. Because of this, I do not want a typical funeral service. Instead, I want a party, something that I myself would want to attend. I want my exit of the world something to remember.
At this party, there will be all of my closest friends and family. There will be fun hip music that everyone can dance to, and I will expect people to dance for the memory of my life considering I have been a dancer, and always will at heart, since I was four. At this “service” I want everyone to either wear blue or pink. This way the crowd will be in cotton candy colors. And considering everyone will look like cotton candy, it is only right to serve cotton candy to everyone. If people wish of course they can say nice things about me, but nothing too sad because I want that day to be fun for everyone. There should be a sign posted somewhere that says “No crying allowed, all violators will be kicked out!”. I also want memories written on poster boards for others to read and pictures posted up. There should also be picture slideshows shown and videos of me in the Dominican Republic on my missions trips. Considering missions is a big love in my life and very important to me, instead of flowers, I want my loved ones to set up a donation for the Second Assembly of God in the Dominican Republic, and also the Homes of Hope for trafficked children in Texas.
This memorial service will be taken place at either the beach, Slater Park, or inside a hall, depending on the weather of course and where I end up living in my later years. If it is nice out I would prefer it to be at the beach so everyone can have a barbeque and smore’s later on in the night. I want my favorite foods to be served, fruit salad, steak, mashed potatoes, and whatever anyone else wants to bring. After everyone eats around sunset, I want there to be a balloon for every year I have lived. If I am 88 years old, I want eighty eight baby blue and light pink balloons let go to the song Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole. There will be no certain time for everyone to leave, just whenever they please and feel they have partied enough for me.

Ooooo oooooo ohoohohoo
Ooooo ohooohoo oooohoo
Ooooo ohoohooo oohoooo
Oohooo oohoooho ooooho
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby ii ii iii
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I? i iiii

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I hiii ?

Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo


Warm summer sun shine kindly here: Warm summer wind blow softly here: Green sod above lie light, lie light: Good-night, Dear Heart: good-night, good-heart. Memorial to Clorinda Haywood.I want people to remember my life in a happy way. I don’t want anyone to be sad when I die because it will just be my time to go. Theirs will be someday too. People need to have fun at my life party and celebrate my life, not mourn for it. After my party I want some friends and family to bury my body at Swan Point Cemetary if I still choose to be buried at that point, I may want to be creamated and set free at my party. If I do choose to be creamated I want  necklaces, rings or braclettes made for  my children, and husband with my remains inside.

45 Fun Things to Do at a Funeral Jason Roth

1. Ask whose funeral it is.
2. Look at your watch a lot.
3. Videotape the burial.
4. Wear something pink.
5. Offer tissues to mourners, for a reasonable price.
6. Gasp and say you think you left your oven on.
7. Honk your horn during the funeral procession.
8. Set off your car alarm during the funeral procession.
9. Try to get people lost during the funeral procession.
10. Shout "Bullshit!" during the eulogy.
11. Take bets on the next person to go.
12. Tell embarrassing stories about the deceased.
13. Tie a fishing line to a five dollar bill and see who's really mourning and who just wants to be five bucks richer.
14. Pretend to issue a subpoena to the spouse of the deceased. Laugh and say you always wanted to do that.
15. Try to convince someone who's weeping to go out with you.
16. Whistle a happy tune.
17. Eat popcorn.
18. Applaud after the burial.
19. From behind a tree at the cemetery, yell something Godly into a megaphone.
20. Hum "Taps" into a kazoo.
21. Smile and say, "This reminds me of the time he pretended he was dead. What a joker."
22. See how much Easy Cheese graffiti you can spray onto the coffin before somebody postpones the funeral for a wipe-down. Offer to supply the Windex.
23. Ask if anyone has seen the old "saw the casket in half" trick.
24. Carve your initials into the casket.
25. Put on a hand buzzer and slap one of the pallbearers on the ass.
26. Tug on the coffin while the pallbearers are carrying it. Try to hang from it.
27. Use a lot of inappropriate idioms. (E.g., "Man, am I dead tired. All that drinking last night really killed me. That tequila was deadly. Getting up this early for a funeral is murder. Hey, isn't that guy a dead ringer for Joe Pesci?")
28. Ask if anyone knows a five-letter word for "decomposition".
29. Tell somebody your iguana died. See if you get any sympathy.
30. Put on a stethoscope, place the chest piece on the casket, shake your head and say, "I'm sorry, he didn't make it."
31. Flip open the casket and run.
32. Straddle the casket and wave a cowboy hat. Pretend you're Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove.
33. Sneak up to the podium and give a eulogy. If you can't think of anything creative, just refer to the deceased with the wrong name.
34. Make phone calls.
35. Receive phone calls.
36. Check e-mail.
37. Hold a protest near the grave site. Claim that the cemetery uses non-union gravediggers, or yell something about sacred Indian burial ground or groundhogs being threatened with extinction.
38. Hand out flyers during the burial promoting an after-party or special prices on dry cleaning. Even better, two-for-one tombstones for one week only.
39. Start a sing-along.
40. Fake a heart attack.
41. Before the body is lowered, announce that the guy in the back told you he wanted to say something.
42. Ask everyone to join you in prayer. Say something profane in Latin. See if anyone notices.
43. Spit on the grave.
44. Tell the deceased's mother that you're bored.
45. And finally…… Introduce yourself as "the guy who killed him".
　
　

Swan Point Cemetery

                                       

My first impression of the Swan Point Cemetery was great. The lawn was well kept up as was most of the tombstones. There were many trees and flowers growing creating a beautiful scenery. As I walked around, I noticed how many people were around. Some people were visiting loved ones and others were just riding a bike or taking a walk.

It is a very peaceful place to go to. I personally have someone dear to me who is buried there and was very pleased to see how beautiful it really was. My cousin Tammy Freeman, who died when I was two from cancer, is buried there. She left behind a son who was also two at the time of her death. Next to my cousin Tammy is my dad Leo Paul. He passed away three years ago from what we think was some kind of heart failure. Ever since his funeral I have only visited him once earlier this year alone. At the time I was only paying attention to his grave instead of all the beauty around me. Not only am I very happy with where my dad is buried, but I myself would like to be buried there because of how beautiful and well kept it is.

As I walked passed my dad’s grave and farther into the cemetery, I found a wonderful view of a lake. With 200 acres behind it, I never thought twice to walk around the cemetery. Not only did I find a lake, but I found a set of staircases leading up to a gazebo. It was amazing because as I stood on the top of the gazebo, I could see many graves that overlooked the water. However, the graves around the water were very old. Most of them dating back to the 18 and 1900’s. Because they were so old, they were not as well kept by loved ones probably because most of them had passed as well and were forgotten. Near the water, I found many tombs with multiple family members inside.

I also found many family lots which had big statues naming all of the members of the family that had passed with smaller stones surrounding stating either their first name only or “mother” and “father”.

These next pictures show the inside and the outside of a family tomb. On the inside of this  tomb there was four family members all of which are inside of the tomb wall.

The funerals held at Swan Point Cemetery are always held with a tent over the hole where the coffin will go. At my dad's funeral, this same thing was there. If you look closer underneath the tent, you can see the hole all ready for the person to be burried. This  is what all funerals in Swan Point Cemetery look like before the person arrives.

This gazebo was absolutly beautiful. It overlooked graves and the gorgeous view of the water. After climbing the stairs, of course, there were more and more graves which was were I found the Paul family's grave stones. This was interesting to me because my last name is also Paul

I found this stone interesting because of the design in the stone and I also noticed the rocks placed on top of the grave stone which I understand to be a Jewish tradition.

My cousin Tammy's grave has a part of the stone that is meant to put fresh flowers in. It is perfect because there was already water inside from rain which will allow her flowers to stay fresh for more than just one or two days.

 These stones, as you can see, are very old and unkept by family.

Towards the water were all old tombstones. Most of the dates on all of these were form the early 1900's and the 1800's. Most of them were clearly not kept up by family members becasue they are so old.

Of course in every cemetery there will be children and babies burried there. However, although I knew this, it was still hard to see tombstones with a baby angel engraved on them and to really see the ages of these children. In the picture below, there are two children burried underneath an angel who looks as though she is crying, both of these children were under ten years old.

This tombstone was very interesting to me because of the great detail of  who this person was and what his family had accomplished. It says that the father of the man burried here came to Providence in 1648 as a Baptist Minister. This man was 64 when he died in 1854.

"Row after row with strict impunity the headstones yield their names to the element, The wind whirrs without recollection; In the riven troughs the splayed leaves pile up, of nature  the  casual sacrament to the seasonal eternity of death; Then driven by the fierce scrutiny of heaven to their election in the vast breath, they sough the rumour of mortality..." Allen Tate

This child was also under 10 years old when she died and as you can see has many pictures engraved on her stone with a small picture of her.

This was also interesting to me  because there is no death date inscribed on the stone. It only says November 8, 1959. It also says beloved special son. This may be a baby who died during child birth or someone who decided to get a gravestone ahead of time  before they actually passed( if that is possible).

As I was walking through the cemetery, I noticed two long graves that seemed to be pretty old. Both were just babies when they died. Brother and sister, Ann Frances and Samuel died within three years of each other. Samuel was a little over a year old and died in 1836 while Ann Frances was two years old and died in 1838. This was very interesting to me because of how much heartache their family had to have gone through losing two children within such a short of time.

 

Egyptian and Mesopotamian Attitudes towards death

April 1, 2011
Within every culture, there is always something unusual to be seen by an outsider. Mesopotamian culture and Egyptian cultures are two of those cultures that it is somewhat hard for me to understand why some people not only do what they do but believe in what they believe in. To me it is a bit odd that someone believes a god of the earth can be cut up into fourteen pieces and scattered all over the world to only be put back together by a sister/ wife years after and be resurrected. Now some people think that it is ridiculous to believe that a man can just rise up from the grave three days after a violent death but of course to me it is not something that is seemed to be odd but it is my religion and my culture to believe in this just as the Egyptians believe in a man being killed twice and brought back twice from the dead.
In the Egyptian culture, it is believed that a man and a woman, husband and wife, who are also sister and brother lived together in happiness for many years. However, their brother Seth got jealous of their relationship and wanted it to end. Because of his envy, he held a banquet and told whoever could fit in a chest would win this game. No one could fit, so Osiris gave it a try. He took his crown off and fit in the closed chest. After he did so, Seth had his people nail the chest and let him die in there. After he was put out to see his sister and wife never stopped looking for him. When she finally found him washed up on shore, he was resurrected from the dead. For years they lived happily ever after together again until word got to the jealous brother Seth and he decided to kill him again. Only this time he cut his body into fourteen pieces and spread it all over the world so Isis could not put him back together. She did not give up and found him once again and for the second time he was resurrected from the dead. The Egyptian lifestyle seems to be that they never want to give up on life. No matter what, they will strive to never die. It’s almost as if they are all in denial. This story is funny to be just because I could never imagine that happening. However this is someone’s religion and they may look at my religion as funny also.
With the Mesopotamian culture, is different from the Egyptian culture as it is with all other cultures in the world. With them however, every god in their religious stories seems to be a warrior of some sort of just someone who people can rely on and look toward to save them from hurt and the inevitable death. People in all religions seem to look for someone to turn to in times of trouble and count on to help them. With their famous story, it is two brothers who at first fight with each other on who has more power and eventually they become very close until one dies and the other is left to mourn over the dead body for seven days and seven nights. He watches over the body until there are worms crawling on his dead brother. However death is once again inevitable even though many people try to avoid it. “How can I be silent how can I rest? He is dust and I too shall die and be laid in earth forever.” This is for all people everywhere. No matter what religion or beliefs, everyone dies a death.

Death?

March 25, 2011
Death is something that people may sometimes get caught up in. Whether they are thinking about it, obsessed with how they will die, and even when a loved one dies death seems to be everywhere. With certain religions, death and dying rituals may seem very odd to some people. Which certainly the Chinese attitudes towards death seem extremely odd to me. However I am also intrigued by their rituals and ways that they burry their dead and prepare for their own deaths. One thing that stuck out to me was that some Chinese individuals actually pray about their deaths. Now this in some way may seem normal in other religions such as Christians where praying for the future is not an odd thing to do such as praying for your husband or wife when you are only just a child.
In the Chinese culture, it seems weird to me certain ways they react with not only death but life in general. The ways that they view how to mourn death is not very normal to me. The way that they find appropriate manner in mourning is not crying like most cultures do, but it is a man who jumps up and down while a woman beats her chest. To me, this seems like it is celebrating their death. Maybe not celebrating a family or friends loss of the person but maybe the fact that they feel their loved one is now simply in a better place and they can move on to the next phases of life/death or also known as the never-ending cycles of transformation. This is where a persons life or spirit never actually dies, although the body dies, but the spirit lives on after it’s birth and moves on to different realms of the universe. “When Hui Tzu went to convey his condolences, he found Chuang Tzu sitting with his legs sprawled out, pounding on a tub and singing. “you lived with her, she brought up your children and grew old,” said Hui Tzu. “It should be enough simply not to weep at her death. But pounding on a tub and singing- this is going too far, isn’t it?” Chuang Tzu said, “You’re wrong. When she first died, do you think I didn’t grieve like anyone else? But I looked back to her beginning and the time before she was born. Not only the time before she was born, but the time before she had a body. Not only the time before she had a body, but the time before she had a spirit. In the midst of the jumble of wonder and mystery a change took place and she had a spirit. Another change and she had a body. Another change and she was born. Now there’s been another change and she’s dead. It’s just like the progression of the four seasons, spring, summer, fall, winter. “Now she’s going to lie down peacefully in a vast room. If I were to follow after her bawling and sobbing, it would show that I don’t understand anything about fate. So I stopped.’”
Now in other cultures such as Christianity, the death of Jesus Christ is something that can both be so sad but a happy time as we celebrate Easter because although he was killed a horrible death, he rose again three days later. In some cases with no particular religion, sometimes a person who gets wrapped around in death feels that life does not have a purpose and there is no need for them to live, “Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” I like this quote because anyone who believes in anything powerful such as life, that belief will grow stronger and stronger until that small belief comes into something real.
With death also comes wonder of when a person may die. Some people take quiz’s online to see their “death date” and others pray about it and look for signs of when that might actually happen. However, I think it was spoken perfectly by Vladimir Nabokov, “What moment in the gradual decay does resurrection choose? What year? What day? Who has the stopwatch? Who rewinds the tape? Are some less lucky, or do all escape? A syllogism: other men die; but I am not another; therefore I’ll not die.”

Dan the Man



   Normally when an individual has the option to choose someone to spend a day with if it was the others last, it would be about someone who they have come to know over years like a parent, friend, or family member. However, if I could choose anyone in this world to spend one day with, it would be the boy I never got a chance to meet; Daniel Robert Hoyt. Now it may seem weird that I would want to spend a day with someone I have never even met before but, it would be so important for me to be able to meet Dan. For over two years I have only seen pictures and heard many memories about him. The reason I want so badly meet Dan is because he is a part of my life. I think about him everyday, see pictures of him, made a quilt out of his clothing, made a painting of him, and I have even cried over his death from time to time. It may seem hard to believe that a person can mourn over another’s death when they don’t even know them but, in as many ways as I can, I try to know who he was. I love Dan even though I had the unfortunate timing of coming into his families life just a few days too late.
   On the day of November 17, 2008, was the day that Daniel Hoyt went to be with the Lord. From what I know about him, he was funny, smart, and adored by everyone who knew him. Unfortunately Dan was born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, type two, and eventually killed him at nineteen years old. This disease caused the loss of the use of all his muscles, which meant that he could not walk, stand, roll over, crawl, swallow, and even use his arms fully for they eventually were effected by this. Being in a wheel chair and having limitations did not stop Dan. He was always with friends and family who cared and loved him deeply. I know this because I see how affected his family and friends were and still are to this day over his death. I can only imagine what would have happened if I had gotten to meet him. I wonder if he would love me back, just as I’ve loved him without ever truly knowing him.
   The one and only day I got to see Dan alive, I was at church. I saw my crush at the time (who is now my best friend and boyfriend) sitting with someone who was in a wheel chair. I kept starring at the two of them because I had this feeling in my chest, which lasted well over an hour, that I just could not get rid of. With a tug in my heart, something kept telling me, almost forcing me to go meet this guy I had never seen before. It was a feeling I wish I would have followed because I chickened out that night. I didn’t want to seem like a fool. To this day I think about what could have happened that night if I had only followed my gut because only a week or two later, he passed away. “All his beauty, wit and grace lie forever in one place. He who sang and sprang and moved Now in death, is only loved.” (Alice Thomas Ellis). Dan can now only be loved by me in his death. Although, I want to be able to love him in his life, it can now only be done, unfortunately, in his death.
   The time around his death, I was growing closer and closer to his best friend and brother Nate. I knew something was wrong with Nate’s brother but didn’t put together who the boy in the wheel chair was. When I realized what happened to Dan, I knew I needed to be a support system for Nate at the wake and funeral. Those two days changed my life forever. Without knowing it, Dan brought Nate and I together for an amazing two years and hopefully a lifetime.
   One day with Dan would be a blessing. If it was possible, I would do whatever he would want to do. I would take him on a walk in the park with all of his family and friends, blasting 50 cent in the car on the way there and just driving for the fun of the laughs. We could play video games all night and eat tacos. I would hug him in my arms and give him that kiss I’ve always wanted to give him. I would talk to him and get to know him, and him get to know me. I am always told how much he would love me if he ever knew me. I wish I could really see it though. A perfect day with Dan would really be any day spent with him. It would be perfect no matter what because he would be here with his family and I.
   If there is anyone in the world who I could spend one last day with, it would be the boy in the wheel chair; the one who brought me together with amazing, loving people, and the one who most definitely changed my life forever.

                                                                         

                                                       ~ A Song For Dan~

<3

I am not I and you are not you

In most religions and societies, the people believe in what is seen and what their faith is. However, it seems to me as though the Zen attitude towards it’s religion and anything regarding death there is no answer. This I can understand because some people do not know any answers about death except the fact that a person is born and then dies after a long or short life. But, the Zen attitude is more along the lines of believing in nothing. It seems to me that the Buddhists and those who believe in Zen that they do not have any beliefs or that their belief is nothing. This is because they are constantly contradicting themselves saying things like “there is no place where nothing is born and nothing dies and that we need not see each other at all” (67 sacred art). That quote was stated in The Sacred Art of Dying when someone was saying goodbye to fellow Buddhists, he states that he will see them where everything is born and dies. That is then when the man he speaks to corrects what he says. But to me this is somewhat silly to think. If nothing dies and nothing is born in the nowhere place, where do we come from? What is this religion really based on? Maybe it could have been just a child rambling on about nothing, because that’s what it seems like. I do not want to sound like I am bashing a religion. However, I just simply do not get how they can believe that no one is born anywhere and no one dies. It would be nice if no one died because all my loved ones would still be with me today. Their religion and Zen attitude may just be to protect themselves, to keep them from being sad in a world that is always and constantly a disappointment.
Within the reading I did notice something I liked however. A quote on page 63 that says “I am I, and I am you, and I am not I. In this mode of awareness, there is no struggle between life and death, for one is both fully alive (I am I and I am you) and fully dead ( I am not I) at the same time”. This quote strikes me as quite amusing. This is because this person is completely not only contradicting himself, but is also seeming to avoid death as a whole. Know that they will live through another and while that person is really dead with their body, the person they say they will live through is still living. They are saying that they are not themselves, that they are everyone. I like this even though it is a bit weird to me. If you are not yourself you are constantly knowing what other people feel, it’s as if you can be and do anything you want to in a world that is nothing. Which is ultimately true, this world will someday be nothing to me and to the others who also die. This is because when we die we leave everything behind. But, this is my point of view and what I believe. Someone with a Zen attitude would say that what they work for in this world is to die a death they have already died (which is a never ending circle) that what they did in life can live through those they “are” and live through once their body is actually dead.

Leo Paul

The morning of February 21, 2008 began like any other day. It was sunny out as the snow began to melt while I was on my school vacation. Unfortunately, I had a small cold and was stuck inside the house all day. I was supposed to have slept over my dad’s house the night before (like I did on every Wednesday), but I was just not up to it. I was disappointed I did not get to see my dad but I knew I would see him the next day or possibly he would even stop by my house to see me. I would not understand until months later that there was a reason I was sick that night and could not make it to my dads house. That reason was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me in my entire life. At fifteen years old, I lost the one man I knew as Daddy.
All day that Thursday, I was trying to prepare myself for dance class later that night; drinking as much juice and medicine as I could to rid my cold for good. I did not realize that my dad hadn’t called me until about five o’clock after my brother Andy called my mom saying his car broke down on the highway. My mom told him everything would be fine that she would call my dad to go get him. Strangely, there was no answer. This was a big shock because my dad always answered his phone. No matter where he was, what he was doing, he never missed a call. If he did happen to miss a call, all anyone ever had to do was wait five more minutes and he would call right back; and if they didn’t answer, you could expect five more calls until you did.
Ever since I was a young girl, I always knew my dad would possibly pass on before most of my friends. He was an older father, having me when he was fifty two, and he also struggled with his weight for years. He went to the gym and exercised with me every other day of the week and had this diet shake he always drank that a doctor gave him to reduce meal sizes. Unfortunately that was not enough. I always knew in the back of my mind that I would loose him and it scared me. I would cry in the car sitting next to him thinking about the day he would die and praying that it wouldn’t be anytime soon. Always worrying about my dad was not a healthy thing for me to do “Life’s too short for worrying. Yes that’s what I’m worried about” ( But I knew that night something terrible happened, I could feel it in my heart.
As my mom, Andy, and I tried to call him, after about a half hour my mom finally said she would have to go get him and wait for triple A to pick up his car. Once six-thirty rolled around I called my mom. I told her there was no calls from daddy and that I continued to try (hoping that he threw his phone in the trash at McDonald’s again). She decided that they would stop by my dad’s house on the way home. I was still planning on going to my dance class at seven so when I called her back she wasn’t answering either. I immediately started worrying because I called Andy and there was no answer. The first thought in my mind was that something was wrong.
After about two hours of endless calls to my brother and parents, my mom and Andy finally came home. I was laying on the couch watching some stupid reality TV show when I noticed my mom’s eyes were all red with mascara running down her face. Then I looked at Andy, he would not look me in the eyes, just walked into the kitchen without a word. I also noticed his face was beat red. I was running all these thoughts into my mind about what could have happened. Maybe my mom and Andy had a fight like always and his face was red because of his screaming and it made my mom cry; or even he was crying and upset over his car dying. As those thoughts ran through my head, I looked in the reflection of a glass bookcase sitting in the living room. It showed the kitchen table and my mom and Andy standing over it whispering to each other. Then and there I knew something had happened to my daddy. They both came into the living room. My mom sat at my feet and my brother on another chair. My mom told me to sit up so she could talk to me. And as I starting sitting up, it hit me. Crying uncontrollably as I sat up, she didn’t need to say anything, I already knew what she was going to say. My brother came and sat on the other side of me while we all hugged each other and cried.
The rest of that night was a blur. Family members came in and out; trying to comfort us and be there for anything we needed. I went to bed early in my mom’s bed after a long hot shower. When I woke up, my mom was standing over me and asked me if I knew what happened was real, and that it was not a dream. I wanted everything that happened the night before to be fake and just a dream. It wasn’t and I was crushed. That day more and more people came over to comfort me. I didn’t cry much because I was in shock. Not knowing what to do with myself, I went in my room and cleaned. The worst thing I had to do was call my best friend Zhanna and tell her the bad news. She knew my dad well because he always took us everywhere and constantly called her Zenon. When she picked up and found out it was me, she started joking around at how I wasn’t at dance the night before. Without saying a word, I broke down. She heard my sobs and asked me what was going on. Finally in a high pitched voice, I said “My dad died”. She was speechless and having no words to really comfort me, for she had never known anyone who died, all she could do was say how sorry she was. That seemed to be the word everyone said, “I’m so sorry” and I would just roll my eyes and say “ya me too”. There wasn’t much anyone could say to me to help me through this tough time. The only thing that helped me was God. I prayed all the time and continued to go to my church’s youth group who supported me through everything and because I had died a “spiritual death“(Kramer). I was more comforted when my three older sisters from California finally arrived at my house about five days later. They all have children, one of my sisters is even a grandma, making me a great aunt and my dad a great grandpa. They were all from my dad’s previous marriage which meant I was the baby of six. But we always knew no matter what we were blood and that we would never stop loving each other. Our dad’s death only made us stronger and closer together.
My dad’s death happened three years ago. I was fifteen years old and he was sixty eight years young. It was the worst day of my life; the day my daddy died, and as a daddy’s girl, I was crushed, and still am. I never show my emotions about anything with him because I want to be strong for my family. However, “
To this day I still hide everything. I don’t want to think about my loss, not only because I loved him more than any other man, but because I’m afraid of forgetting the little things I loved about him. He will always be in my heart; forever and always.
　Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”(death and dying) and some may say that I could be dying inside from my loss, but I cope with my dad in my own ways.　

　

　
　
　
　
　
　
　
Cites
Kramer, Kenneth. Mahway, New Jersey: Paulist, 1988. Print.
Enright, D. J. The Oxford Book of Death. Oxford [Oxfordshire: Oxford UP, 1983. Print.
"Death and Dying Quotes." Find the Famous Quotes You Need, ThinkExist.com Quotations. 1999. Web. 25 Feb. 2011. <http://thinkexist.com/quotations/death_and_dying/>.
　
　

The Hunger Games

    The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins, is a young girls story of fighting for her friends, family, and country. The country of Panem, filled with heartache and evil spirits; where twelve districts are created and maintained by the capitol. While the capitol is in control, no one outside it is safe. The capitol is a corrupt city that forces each district to pick one boy and one girl to fight to the death in what is called The Hunger Games once a year. The Hunger Games is where twenty-four young teens (ages 11-18), twelve boys and twelve girls are forced into an arena with only the clothes on their backs and the will to live. While in the arena, each contestant has opportunities to find weapons and food left by the game makers (the people who create the arena) and they must fight to kill. In order to survive, you must be the last out of those twenty-four contestants to live. If a contestant is lucky enough to stay alive, they will live with riches for the rest of their lives.
    The Hunger Games is a way of the capitol keeps all the districts in line and in control. The reason for this “game” is because of the rebellion of the thirteenth district. The capitol destroyed the district and everyone in it, therefore, each year the Hunger Games are displayed for the whole country of Panem to see on large screens to remind them of what happened years and years ago to district thirteen.“Taking the kids from our districts, forcing them to kill one another while we watch – this is the Capitol’s way of reminding us how totally we are at their mercy. How little chance we would stand of surviving another rebellion. Whatever words they use, the real message is clear. “Look how we take your children and sacrifice them and there’s nothing you can do. If you lift a finger, we will destroy every last one of you. Just as we did in District Thirteen.”(chapter 1, paragraph 76 of The Hunger Games). As a teen stuck in one of the worst districts of Panem, district twelve, Katniss Everdeen verbalizes what many refuse to say aloud in fear of the capitol; the only reason for the Hunger Games is to show each district how much control they have on everyone and how fast they could be the next one to die.
    Each year Katniss was able to be one of the lucky ones whose name was never chosen. Unfortunately for her, Prim, her eleven year old sister was chosen as a victim in the Hunger Games. Because of Katniss’ love for her younger sister, she sacrifices herself for Prim and enters the Hunger Games.
    She is picked into the Hunger Games with a boy she has known since a young girl, Peta. Peta always secretly loved Katniss but only showed his love and kindness to her as a young boy when he sacrificed a beating from his mother to feed her hungry stomach. The two of them are forced into battle and create a story with their mentors to tell to the whole country of Panem their “love” for each other in hopes of getting sponsors for district twelve. While in the arena, they go their separate ways making alliances with other contestants. Peta, decides to go with the districts that are brutal killers (districts 1-4). Katniss on the other hand chooses an 11 year old girl named Rue from district eleven who reminds her of her young sister Prim. They become best friends until one day, Rue is caught in a fight with a boy who was much bigger than her and dies. Katniss sings to her as she passes the song that always gave her comfort as a child:
     Deep in the meadow, under the willow
     A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
     Lay down your head, and close your eyes
     And when they open, the sun will rise
     Here it’s safe, and here it’s warm
     Here the daisies guard you from every harm
     Here your dreams are sweet–
     –and tomorrow brings them true
     Here is the place where I love you.
     Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
     A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
     Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
     And when again it’s morning, they’ll wash away
     Here it’s safe, and here it’s warm
     Here the daisies guard you from every harm
     Here your dreams are sweet–
     – and tomorrow brings them true
     Here is the place where I love you.
     Here is the place where I love you.
After Rue passes, she then picks flowers and decorates Rue’s hair in them creating a crown of flowers on her head which is an extreme insult to the capitol. Katniss however doesn’t care. She wants to beat the odds and win the Games. Not just for her family but for Rue and all the other young children who were killed while in the arena.

    Katniss continues to fight and eventually finds Peta. They continue their “love” for one another (while Peta doesn’t pretend and Katniss begins to really grow feelings) and they make it to the final three knowing one of them must die. After the last contestant besides Peta and Katniss dies, they have no choice but to decide who will die because there can only be one winner. Neither of them will let the other die, which is why they decide to poison themselves and die together, leaving the capitol with no victor and embarrassment to the President of Panem; for they bent the rules. However, before they can kill themselves, the capitol allows both to live. Leaving this thought in everyone’s heads, Love is surely much greater than death, for love is the reason many die, to save one another, just as Katniss and Peta did.

To be Afraid or Not to be Afraid

    Is it possible to ever be secure and escape from death? Death is inevitable, it will never be possible for a human being or any life matter in fact, that can live forever. Although we can not be safe from death however, we can feel piece of mind with death and be okay with the fact that someday, somehow, we will die. When people think of death they get scared. This is mostly because they see death as if it is always murder. Death does not always have to be murder. It can come as a peaceful and happy thing and not always scary and a violent death. Not everyone dies from murder or a scary death. In some way, I hope people can take comfort in knowing that “on the night we die a thousand others go with us, among them wise men and fools and such low forms of life as shepherds or maidservants”(Oxford Book of Death pg 21).
    We may begin to fear death as time goes on and we get older and older, fall in LOVE, and begin to start a family with children. Death can be a scary thing, but it can also be something that creates us to live life as though it was our last day, for we do not know the day we will die. Those who decide to look over death as though it is not there, cannot fully live their lives because they will not accept the fact that someday their life will come to an end leaving everything behind. “He who pretends to look on death with out fear lies. All men are afraid of dying, this is the great law of sentient beings, with out which the entire human species would soon be destroyed” (Jean Jacques Rousseau). Everyone dies, and everyone is afraid of death at one point. Hopefully, someday, everyone is able to not fear death, but live life without any fear. With fear in life, there is no way a person can be truly happy.
    Of course it is scary to think that someday I will be burned to ashes or sewed up and glued together so my family can say one last goodbye to me only to watch me go six feet underground in a coffin nailed shut never to be opened again. However, I recognize death as it is. It is death whether I believe in an afterlife or not. Fortunately for myself, I do have faith and I have my own beliefs in what will happen to me once I die. For those people who want to live forever, why would you want to live past all your friends and family. There will be so much heartache and sadness in that persons life with all of those deaths there will be no point in living life after so much death.
    In Hinduism, the Hindu’s look at life and death with happiness. They have no fear in death and accept what is a part of every life. In India, death is everywhere. Dead bodies lay in the rivers and streets in every ones way. There is no way they can escape death and it is known by even the youngest children. It seems to be that Hinduism and Christianity have some of the same stories or beliefs. One story would be the story of Nachiketas and Yama. This story is very similar to the story of Isaac and Abraham where the son has accepted the fact that their father needs a sacrifice to be given up but with no lambs/ young calf.
    With Hinduism, comes different beliefs. Reincarnation is something that is not taken lightly within the religion. They believe that once a person dies, they come back to life either in another human form or some other kind of living creature on the Earth. Death is something that cannot be taken lightly whether you believe you will come back to life or live in some sort of after life.

Thoughts on Death as a Sacred Art

February 3, 2011

Death is something that is a part of life and life is a part of death. Each needs each other for without life there is no death. There is a beginning to every end, beginning to a sentence, beginning to life and with each comes an ending which is ultimately death. Life always leads to death and we are constantly going towards our endings. It is even said in Shakespeares play Hamlet that death cannot be overcome. "All that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity." (Shakespeare, Hamlet, 1.2). Discovering life in death and death in life is an important aspect for every person to unravel. It may be an overwhelming realization or even something that comes with time.

It took death to bring Betty Maltz back to life. Essentially the woman who was pronounced dead and then reborn believes her old life was meant to die so that the knew Betty could be born in order to leave the old life behind for good. Many people die a physical death only to waken up from the dead to be reborn with a new sense of life as their old life is gone or dead and a new life is born.

With three different faces of death, physical, psychological, and spiritual, it shows how much death is a part of ones life. The physical part of death is the loss of a heartbeat, brain activity, and breath. A psychological death is something that one does when they begin to live as if they have already died. It seems to happen mostly to depressed beings and those who just feel as though they can’t take any more of life’s challenges. With a spiritual death, old patterns, habits, and identities are wiped away and the birth of a new person becomes a realization. Betty Maltz had a spiritual and physical death when she died and it was pronounced by doctors and then had a spiritual death when she awakened and realized what there is in the afterlife.

Death is something that seems to be feared by many. However to some death is not anything to be scared of at all. This is mostly with those who have faith in an afterlife that is better than anything that could be on this Earth. Those who are in American culture fear death and what lies in the afterlife because it is the unknown and most people need proof to understand what is really the truth. Many people need to die in order to realize what they want in life and how they decide to live life. It takes someone’s death sentence for them to live their life as they have always wanted to. They realize that death is imminent and they accept their fate and death as it is. There is no point in fearing death because it will happen no matter what. There is nothing anyone can do in order to cheat death. Those who already know they are dying become peaceful when death arrives and then, instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they begin to feel sorry for their friends and family instead of them for their family are the ones who must live without them.